In this week’s blog, Méliane shares her OCD story through a beautiful poem she wrote:
I can’t see you but I know you’re there
You’re always there
Sometimes I think you’ve gone but you always find a way to re-appear
I’ve been in prison for years
Alive but not living
Closed down
Standing
Staring at life
An observer bound in a mental straitjacket
Looking at the world but not taking part in it
Wooden, frozen
“No” I shout at you. “Enough. Stop”
But you still keep coming at me
I am so tired
Tired of washing, cleaning & checking
Tired of not being able to touch anything touched by anyone else
Tired of the effort, the struggle, the continual cycle
Tired of the loss of career & relationships
Tired of not feeling able to go outdoors
Tired of the loss of fun
Tired of life
This year when Spring arrives I feel the sunlight warming me
I feel a sense of hope
I hear something funny on the radio and I laugh. It’s a strange feeling but good. It’s been a long
time
A thought floats into my head “I can do anything I want”
I want my freedom
Can I find the strength to take it?
I’m going to try.
